My recent favourite. Valo Daily is so busy with great news and articles I didn't want to clog it up with old stuff but I do love this pic so much and felt a need to celebrate a lovely couple of days seeing the family. So here it is.

Has it really been years since I did a bit of hill-walking? We went to Llanberis, got the obligatory fish and chip, art and craft shops over and done with and then I got a bit confused as to why there was a need for the peat seats Laura was holding forth about so enthusiastically. Until we walked past a rather nice walkers' wholefood caff run by Pete and selling eats, soon after noticing that Pete seems to have cornered the victuals market in Llanberis by opening Pete's Bistro too.

On the way up to the top of the slate quarry we had fun with potential Llanberis outlets owned by Pete - Pete's Sheets (the hotel), Pete's Keats (the poetry book store), Pete's Meats (the butcher), Pete's Teets (the sex shop), Pete's Cheats (the betting shop), and my favourite Pete's Beats (the record shop), Pete's Sweets or Suites (just thought of those). That's enough of that.

Back home now and facing a mountain of work I've been putting off for weeks.

Muse - album/concert
Rammstein - album/concert
Airbourne Toxic Event - concert (I really should buy the album instead of using a ripped copy)
The Corteeners/Buzzcocks - concert
XMO: Wolverine - DVD (fancy arsed version with interviews, and stuff..)
Star Trek - DVD
Man United v Man City - Stretford End seats
New grandchild - arriving shortly

I think I have to consider a life of crime in order to pay for all of this.

Pimping again, this time audioboo for the essential audio blogging experience; disclaimer - only for geekyproud owners of iPhones.

Blogging on the hoof is a bit different I suppose and these clever chaps seem to have cornered the market but I have to admit to some reservations, for instance I kept wondering where the videos and journals are, what's the point, what else does it do? But I guess the spoken word has it's own validity, compare reading a great performance from a stand up comedian and then listening to the same act; you don't see accent, atmosphere and nuance on a printed page.

Harking back to my reservations, I remember years ago just not understanding why anyone would possibly want to shell out more ackers for an AppleMac as opposed to an ordinary lap top. So what the hell do I know.

**Edited later and in the light of recent events, I can now see the point! **

Anyone heard of the film Franklyn? I hadn't until it was recommended by a friend so I went to the Odeon last night with no preconceptions and absolutely loved it! There are probably one or two people on my FL who're of a gothic inclination and who will very much appreciate the look of the film, and the story, that weaves together the real lives and fantasies of four separate people. And though it's main concerns are with the realm of the mind it is very satisfyingly based in reality.

Sam Riley, above, who won an award for most promising newcomer for his portrayal of Ian Curtis in Control was another big plus. Go and see it!

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Bill Bailey is on Desert Island Discs next Sunday, 11:15am, Radio Four.

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It beggars belief to read some of the extreme reactions to this issue on the official site. Extreme reactions quite often lead to muddled and illogical thinking; for example to express my dissatisfaction with this deal on the grounds that the soft porn industry is not the most life-enhancing choice for women means that I'm a hypocrite and that I wish to chain all women to the kitchen sink. Nuff said really.

Pornography is real, it's a legal industry that people choose to work in, and on rare occasions make a very good living out of but let's not kid ourselves into believing it's somehow the ultimate expression of female freedom, sexuality or identity. Yes I agree, women should have the right to do what they want with their bodies and this includes selling themselves for sex; erm and before I go on, let's just nail one myth on the head, the magazines on the top shelf of the newsagents' stands are not artistic journals. Porn is produced purely for the sexual gratification of men, and to a lesser extent, women; the industry is not glamourous or artistic, it's not an intellectual challenge, it's not a caring service, neither is it a career I would encourage my own 18 year old daughter to enter into and I have to ask the question how many friends or family would encourage a girl into becoming a 'glamour model'?

Suicide Girls is alternative soft porn, and from what information I can gather on the internet the management are not the most benevolent. They insist on their models submitting nude photos and have absolute say over what happens to those photos, which have in some cases, apparently, ended up on hardcore sites.

So, if you want to support this deal between Sire (or whoever) and SG, then at least have the guts, and the facts, to tell it like it is and not paint a glorious rose tinted picture which abuses the hard fought principles of feminist philosophy.

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The what appears to be oral sex, performed by a Royal aide and filmed by two handy, entrepreneurial Geordies who've been banged up and slapped with a gagging order for their efforts.

The who is the interesting part and it'd make a fun Christmas parlour game of elimination, maybe even charades, to guess the identity of our regal cock-suckee; but I can't wait until Christmas so here goes.

A male Royal? Probably. Oral sex on a female Royal would be much less newsworthy because how could You-Tube viewers make out the finer details under all those layers of frock?

A minor Royal? Well, he's not being described as a senior Royal so that eliminates Princes Charles and the various Dukes of this that and the other; and only £50,000, so that eliminates William and Harry; and let's face it, they don't really need to rely on aides to perform the dirty do they.

A well minor Royal? Would we give a fuck? And do the likes of James and Marina Ogilvy even merit aides?

So. He is close enough to the Queen to be of interest, maybe one of her sons? He's in need of a bit of extra-curricular activity, maybe his wife is pregnant? and has always been a bit of a loser with a shadow cast over his sexuality. Need I say more?

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Some time ago a guy wearing sharpely creased jeans passed Laura and I in the street and I made this throw away remark about never trusting a man who irons a crease in his jeans. Why why?? I don't know, it's just one of my many irrational prejudices.

Well, she remembered this particular pearl of wisdom because this morning she joined me in the kitchen to say I was right, a tv presenter had just made the same remark. It made me laugh to think we pass on such ludicrous nonsense to our kids who then store it away in a brain cell labelled "stupid old wives tale but worth keeping in mind, just in case".

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Have a listen to the Lancashire Hotpots singing ~ He's Turned Emo, it's only 2 minutes and the lyrics are hilarious.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=137795041

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Advertisement for Yorkshire Airlines -

http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=-63711994125288566&q

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Anyone going to the Manchester Passion Play this evening?

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I fell for two today, hook, line and sinker. The Guardian reported that Chris Martin has written a campaign song for the Tories cos he can't stand Tony Blair anymore and because he shares David Cameron's environmental concerns, they showed a photoshopped picture of them together on stage and it looked so real.

The other was about using your computer mouse to swipe your Nector Card so you can view how many points you've got on the Nector website. Well I didn't know you can't do that!

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I'm selling 2 mobiles that I'm not using anymore, don't want to resort to ebay, so...

1) Latest Nokia (4.1 mega pixels)

2) Older model Motorola

Please email if you're interested?

( pics here )

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This is the funniest sketch I have watched in bloody ages and I just had to find the text to show you. He's got the Middle English accent down perfect, and the 'brilliant' night out (and I have to admit this all seems very familiar). Take a few minutes to read and enjoy.


Chaucer Pubbe Gagge, by Bill Bailey

Three fellowes wenten into a pubbe,
And gleefullye their handes did rubbe,
In expectatione of revelrie,
For 'twas the houre known as happye.
Greate botelles of wine did they quaffe,
And hadde a reallye good laffe.
'Til drunkennesse held full dominione,
For 'twas two for the price of one.
Yet after wine and meade and sac,
Man must have a massive snack,
Great pasties from Cornwalle!
Scottishe eggs round like a balle!
Great hammes, quaile, ducke and geese!
They suck'd the bones and drank the grease!
(One fellowe stood all pale and wan -
for he was vegetarianne)
Yet man knoweth that gluttonie,
Stoketh the fyre of lecherie,
Upon three young wenches round and slye,
The fellowes cast a wanton eye.
One did approach, with drunkene winke:
"'Ello darlin', you fancy a drink?",
Soon they caught them on their knee,
'Twas like some grotesque puppettrie!
Such was the lewdness and debaucherie -
'Twas like a sketch by Dick Emery!
(Except that Dick Emery is not yet borne -
So that comparisonne may not be drawn).
But then the fellowes began to pale,
For quail are not the friende of ale!
And in their bellyes much confusione!
from their throats vile extrusione!
Stinking foule corruptionne!
Came spewinge forth from droolinge lippes,
The fetide stenche did fille the pubbe,
'Twas the very arse of Beelzebubbe!

Thrown they were, from the Horne And Trumpette,
In the street, no coyne, no strumpet.
Homeward bounde, must quicklie go,
To that ende - a donkey stole!
Their handes all with vomit greased,
(The donkey was not pleased,
And threw them into a ditche of shite!)
They all agreed:
"What a brillant night!"